This post is more to address some things that I may have forgot to talk about. One of the first is that I am NOT talking about the LGBTQIA+ youth support organization with the name “It Gets Better”. I am also going to address my stance on the phrase’s intentions and what people try to have happen by using the phrase.

I know that it has good intentions

I have heard that it originated during a time when teenage suicide had increased exponentially, which especially applied to LGBTQIA+ youth. This origin was meant (at least from what I have heard) originally to tell the LGBTQIA+ youth that it may be terrible to live right now, but as you grow, it will change for the better. I mean, I know that it was intended for good and to help young people who are thinking of suicide, but something about it just feels terrible and kind of demotivating to me.

I guess I know why it sounds not motivating to me

The reason to me seems to be that the phrase sounds like someone is trying to say some bullshit to get me out of depression. I honestly am the kind of person who would rather hear something like “that sucks” and just move on from there, not what feels like those fortune-telling bullshit that none of us know if it’s true or not! If someone TRULY knew that it will, in fact, get better, then I would more rather ask what the numbers are for a lottery.

I mean, something more like “It can get better” sounds more accurate and less demotivating to me, but even then, it still can hint that we may know this: It could also get worse. It always frustrates me to see that someone who really cares and wants to help says the phrase “it gets better” and then my mind turns this positive support into a negative. What is even worse is that this can happen for anyone, this is integrated into basically every human mind.

It also feels dismissing

I mean, people want to say something that aknowledge the person’s struggles, but not affirm them, which is tough, since individuals think differently (especially me, because autism spectrum). If this tries to do these things, then I feel like it has failed, since it sounds like you’re dismissing the future and potential struggles I most likely will have in that time. I have not even mentioned the fact that it sounds like you are ignoring the current situation and current struggles and just throw them into the future, saying “Hey, these go away in that time”, like, how about trying to look at what you can help with right now?

Something about it feels like a fallacy

I mainly will reference the things I said previously in this post, but I will also point something that is totally unrelated to the previous statements. The phrase more seems like something that is fallacy driven rose-tinted optimism that people are trying to give across with those three words. The phrase brings me the feeling of cluelessness about the whole situation and the lack of understanding what consequences are. Anything that can traumitize me could have lasting impacts if that ever happened to me, and just saying “Hey, it gets better” just makes me think you are clueless as to how it could impact me physically and psychologically; some trauma-related events could have lifelong impacts on a person, you know.